Art Machine
Just another former infatuation junkie

In the “Way to Take Things Too Far, Guys,” department, I would like to introduce you to The Source.

The Source. This is the hottest extract on earth. You must treat this product with respect. Only use as a food additive! This is a must for every chile head’s shelf. The Source is 7.1 million Scoville Units.

The existence of this product begs one question. That question is: Why?

That question also applies to the fact that people apparently pay 89 bucks for 1 oz. of this stuff.

There are many reasons this MacNN story amuses me – the least of which is that it’s a victory (of sorts) for Apple.

Robert F. Young, a founder of Linux distributor Red Hat and now owner of the Hamilton Tiger-Cats Canadian football team, has offered Apple a quick way out of its lawsuit over the use of the Tiger moniker, according to The Globe and Mail. Apple was sued by retailer Tiger Direct over the use of the Tiger moniker for the latest version of its Mac OS X operating system. “Young has offered to license the Hamilton Tiger-Cats’ historical use of the word Tiger to Apple free of charge. The Hamilton Tigers Football Club, established in 1869, continued to be known as the Tigers (with its colors of yellow and black) until 1950, when the Tigers merged with the Hamilton Wildcats to become the Hamilton Tiger-Cats. ‘136 years ago we were called The Tigers,’ Mr. Young said. ‘If anyone owns the exclusive rights to the word ‘tiger’ with that much history and tradition, it’s gotta be us.’”

Like I said, the fact that it could help out Apple is the least of my reasons for digging this particular news item. I think I like this story the most because it features one of the founders of Red Hat doing what those open source people do best – confounding the modern understanding of “intellectual property.”

Tiger Direct’s lawsuit over the use of the word “Tiger” fits the letter of the law. After all, Tiger Direct is an electronics retailer, and Apple deals in that market. But the chances of people confusing a Mac OS that is codenamed “Tiger” with something involving Tiger Direct are slim to none.

Enter Robert F. Young, prepared to license the word that he holds a trademark on in a completely different industry based on his claim to having owned the word the longest.

All of which is propped up in precedent by the multitude of cases filed by cable manufacturer Monster who has made habit in the past few years of filing lawsuits against any business that uses the word “monster” in its name – from dry cleaners to cable repairmen to monster.com. Not to mention the infamous attempt by Marvel and DC to claim joint ownership of the term “superhero.”

Who am I siding with? I’m siding with the guy who wants to create chaos. In this case, Robert F. Young. I confess, I am a professional artist. As a professional artist it is in my best interest to uphold copyright and trademark so that I may one day profit from them. But I don’t think that it’s outside the pale for me to feel that the current copyright and trademark law is needlessly convoluted and senselessly prohibitive. And confusing cases like this help to drive the point home.

Veddy interesting.

Rob Liefeld – known to comics fans as “He Who Draws the Massive Biceps and Scars and Whose Women All Look Like Robin in Lipstick” – has decided that what the web needs is another single-panel gag webcomic. The reaction has been underwhelming, to say the least.

I mean, these are the sorts of jokes I would expect to read from a seven or eight year old.

For example, the fire guy tells the therapist he gets “hot under the collar”. Then as if that wasn’t enough he goes on to say that he also gets “fired up” and needs to “let off some steam”! I get it Rob, the fuckers made of fire. I guess you could also say he’s hot headed or maybe he’s tired because he’s been burning the midnight oil. Oh, or maybe he’s sick of his job, you know…really just burnt out. HAH! Oh wait, I bet his favorite movie is Weekend at BURNie’s. I’m sorry, I know some of these ideas are pretty half baked. OH ZING! [Penny Arcade]

Let’s be fair. Liefeld only has six strips up so far. But, to be frank about it, it’s six single-panel gags drawn in a style that doesn’t work for single-panel gag strips, and it’s six single-panel gags that rehash gags that used to appear as filler in the days o’ the mighty Marvel Bullpen. Even the “Ain’t-I-Naughty?” humor of the fifth and sixth strips feel stolen from Kevin Smith’s Mallrats. It’s enough to make me long for the witty and urbane humor of Garfield – cheesy CG movie and all.

Speaking of which, Rob’s journal entry on 5/2/05 (Mr. Liefeld has apparently not learned the joys of permalinks) tells the story of SHRINK! being optioned for a movie starring Jennifer Lopez, only to be put into turnaround after Gigli sank at the box office.

The horror, the horror.