Art Machine
Just another former infatuation junkie

Listening to new pop hip-hop tracks after spending an afternoon listening to the fantastic beats and breaks that were plundered to create their musical beds is a singularly unsatisfying experience.

Answers to the last 10 are now posted.

Hey, look at that! A Friday 10 that actually gets posted on Friday! Will wonders never cease?

You should know the rules by now. If you know the artist and the song, drop it in the comments. Partial credit will be given if you only know one or the other. In the case of a heavily-covered song, just name an artist.

1. “Coconut,” by Harry Nilsson [guessed by Thud] – “She called the doctor – woke him up.”
2. “I dial your number, but you’re gone, gone, gone…” – “It Must Be Summer,” by Fountains of Wayne
3. “Why do special women make me cry?” – “Something in the Water,” by Prince
4. “I felt a little ill when I saw all the pictures of the jockeys who were there before me.” – “Little Red Corvette,” by Big Daddy (Prince cover)
5. “Irish Dream,” by Eddie From Ohio [guessed by Thud] – “All that sexual energy tangled in burgundy…”
6. “In the Flesh”, by Pink Floyd [guessed by Thud] – “We’re gonna find out where you fans really stand.”
7. “Shake that thing like we in the city of sin.” – “Hey Mama,” by Black Eyed Peas
8. “1, 2, 3, 4 – Can I have a little more?” = “All Together Now,” by The Beatles
9. “Good for the national bank where they keep their treasury.” – “The Ladies Aid Society,” by The Monkees
10. “My spleen just doesn’t matter.” – “Pancreas,” by Weird Al Yankovic

I just can’t seem to get the 10 posted on Fridays. Hmmmm…

Not that it matters. Last week’s 10 went completely unguessed – now the answers are posted.

Let’s see how these 10 go! If you know the artist and the title, drop it in the comments!

1. “If I was a Jew, then I’d light a menorah.” – “Shamrocks and Shenanigans,” by House of Pain
2. “Jackson,” by Johnny and June Carter Cash [guessed by Carl] – “Go play your hand, you big-talkin’ man – make a big fool of yourself.”
3. “There will always be perilous waters which someone must sail.” – “Into the Fire,” from The Scarlet Pimpernel
4. “Pish-posh! I come wack as I like!” – “Nerdcore Hiphop,” by MC Frontalot
5. “I want your mind, too – Interesting’s what I find in you.” – “Don’t Phunk With My Heart,” by Black Eyed Peas
6. “Je vais, je vais et je viens entre tes reins.” – “Je T’Aime Moi Non Plus,” by Serge Gainsbourg
7. “It runs in to twelve different ways of existing each with capacity to change its mind.” – “When Midnight Sighs,” by P.M. Dawn
8. “I stole you from my ex-best friend, now I wish I could give you back again.” – “My Problem Now,” by The Spin Doctors
9. “Look away and she’s eastbound, out of sight.” – “White Girl,” by Soul Coughing
10. “Lay down your treasure, lay it down now, brother. You don’t have time for a jealous lover.” – “Love and Peace Or Else,” by U2

And now it’s 10 more random lines! Recognize the song? Then drop the artist and the title in the comment! Answers to last week’s 10 are now posted!

1. “Apprehension creeping like a tube train up your spine.” – “Cymbaline,” by Maureen Mahon (Pink Floyd cover)
2. “The hand that wrote this letter sweeps the pillow clean.” – “Letter to Hermione,” by David Bowie
3. “Now, buy a little groceries, and don’t spend no more.” – “Mean Eyed Cat,” by Johnny Cash
4. “Sieg Heil to the President Gasman.” – “Holiday,” by Green Day
5. “Sometimes I’m an angel, and sometimes I’m cruel.” – “True Companion,” by Marc Cohn
6. “I’m the one with the non-existent bum.” – “Love Me or Hate Me,” by Lady Sovereign
7. “Words spoken like locusts sing and sing in my head.” – “True Story of What Was,” by Ani DiFranco
8. “Everybody wants something they can cradle, they don’t know I burn.” – “Devil Inside,” by Utada
9. “I’m either feeling very good, or else I am insane.” – Sweet Young Thing,” by The Monkees
10. “How’s that for provocation? I’m just making a stance.” – “Shotgun Blues,” by Guns ‘n’ Roses

Pulp media and genres tend to get a lot of flack for churning out cookie-cutter works. And with good reason. From time to time, it can seem that the most profitable segments of the entertainment industry are working from a Chinese menu – one from column A, one from column B, and a side from column C.

It does, however, take a certain artistry to be able to work within such strict guidelines, and more often than not the formulas are pushed because they work. They work to draw audiences to the box office or the news stand. They work to make people plunk their hard-earned money down on the counter or plunk their weary rears down on their couches for a few minutes of entertainment.

Two recent blog entries illustrate the art and the craftsmanship that go into generating pulp entertainment. First, Tom Bervoort’s Blah Blah Blog talks about the rules he learned from Stan Lee. Most of them are simple rules to keep character design consistent and to make comic covers stand out on the racks, but among the rules is this interesting little tidbit:

1) REED DOESN’T STRETCH HIS NECK. This one’s been largely abandoned over the last ten years, but it was a guiding principle for Mister Fantastic for decades. As a more serious, intellectually-minded individual than other stretchy heroes such as Plastic Man or the Elongated Man, it was felt that having Reed stretch his neck (or his eyeballs, or his ears, etc.) would look too undignified.

It highlights one of the interesting things about pulp entertainment – the ability to define character through one simple rule. Reed Richards is an intellectual. A scientist. More importantly, he’s a serious character. Characters who had his power in comics – like Plastic Man and the Elongated Man – had largely been used as comic relief. Reed, however, was the brains of a serious quartet of super heroes, and as such had to be portrayed more seriously. By following one simple rule – Reed doesn’t stretch his neck – the comics in which the character appears emphasize his seriousness. He is an intellectual, not a clown.

The second interesting blog entry comes from Film Flap, where we learn that there are rules for writing a Sci-Fi Channel Original Picture.

Here’s the basic rundown:

1. Seven act structure
2. First act is 17 minutes, preceeded by 3 minute hook
3. Remaining acts 8-15 minutes, with cliffhanger
4. Simple concept
5. Fast pacing
6. Fast ending

It’s 6 easy rules – but actually doing the writing isn’t all that easy. It takes skill to be able to follow those guidelines and to produce something that somebody somewhere will actually want to put in front of a camera. The results are almost universally panned, but the Sci-Fi Channel doesn’t just produce these movies for their health – and the act structure makes the films fit into their broadcast style.

Kenneth James of Adjusted Gratuity wants to know – why does Will Ferrell hate him?

Will Ferrell Hates Me

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The ball is in your court, Mr. Ferrell. All of Adjusted Gratuity’s fans expect to hear that The Placekicker has been given the green light before the end of Spring 2008.