Art Machine
Just another former infatuation junkie

It was about half a year ago that KISS said “OI! Screw the fans!” They blasted Radiohead for releasing their latest album so that their fans could get it for free, saying that Radiohead was killing the record industry and they would never do such a thing. Forget for the moment that Radiohead was giving back to the fans who supported them when they had no record label—that kind of gratitude to the fans was not part of Gene Simmons’ vocabulary.

Not only that, but Simmons announced that, “The record industry is dead. It’s six feet underground and unfortunately the fans have done this. They’ve decided to download and file share. There is no record industry around so we’re going to wait until everybody settles down and becomes civilized. As soon as the record industry pops its head up we’ll record new material.”

Ponder for a second the inherent silliness of KISS asking people to settle down and become civilized.

Now as the year draws to a close, KISS may not be recording any new material, but in their quest for relevance they’ve decided to find another reason to shaker their fists and bawl.

“There are disco bands, rap bands, Yiddish folk song bands in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but not Kiss,” the band’s outspoken frontman said during a speech at the Billboard Touring Conference on Thursday. “I believe we have more gold records in America than any other group, but it’s OK.”

That would be Gene “The Demon” Simmons whining and moaning about how his poor, poor band has not been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Y’know, Gene, there are other popular, influential bands in American rock history who have yet to be allowed into the Hall of Fame – some of them, I would dare say, with a greater claim to it than yours. Especially since most bands break up because of creative differences, the changing market, loss of artistic drive, to pursue solo projects… not simply to flip the bird at their fans because they’re downloading the occasional song for free in between paying copious amounts of money to iTunes and Amazon.

I submit that KISS is no longer a rock band, but rather a decrepit old man standing on its porch, shaking its fist, and howling, “All yer kids get off mah damn lawn!” Or maybe that was just an episode of Gene’s reality series.

Huh. It’s enough to make you want to believe in alternate universes. [link via Some Guy With a Website]

An informed executive?

Really?

Huh. After eight years, that’s just… weird.

Seriously, this post at The Ethicurean reinforces a pattern that I’ve been noticing in Obama now that we’re talking about his preparations to take over the Big Office. It seems that whenever someone brings up an issue that is of vital importance but that isn’t typically thought of, Obama’s already thinking about it.

Obama’s plan calls for profound changes to our food and farm policy. These changes could lead to a healthier, safer food supply, stronger local economies, and the return to common-sense agricultural systems that are good for our children, our bodies, our planet, our national future, and our world.

Of course, there are doubts over Obama’s support of corn ethanol, but that’s why we have open discussion and debate – and a President who appears ready to engage in said open discussion and debate. For my part I still don’t quite get why nobody’s talking about agave ethanol. I mean, if we’re gonna be talking about ethanol, anyway, why not talk about the source for it that thrives in wastelands, requires very little water to grow, and is actually a nitrogen-fixing crop instead of a prima donna crop.

It’s been so long since the last set of ten lyrics – but I finally got around to actually posting one on Friday!

You know the rules. If you recognize the lyrics, post the title and artist in the comments!

1. “They want only friends they can have on their terms”
2. “Hypothetical, political, lyrical, Miracle Whip”
3. “I know that one day soon, a song shall rise”
4. The Ramones, “Judy is a Punk” [guessed by Fred] – “They both went down to Berlin, joined the ice capades”
5. “I ain’t jokin’, woman, I got to ramble”
6. “Feelin’ no remorse, feelin’ like my hand was forced”
7. “Adnan and his money – if it wasn’t so sad, it’d be funny”
8. “N-n-now that that don’t kill me (do it faster makes us stronger) Can only make me stronger”
9. “All wet – Hey, you might need a raincoat.”
10. “I dreamt of a wizard with a hot guitar – the loveliest man, now he’s a star”

Obamabats.

Free Obama-based dingbats font.

‘Nuff said.

The talk in the sci-fi community has already turned to “Well, how will we know it’s the future/an alternate reality now?” Apparently, black President is now a reality and woman President was too close to a reality to serve the purpose any more. There’s already votes for Asian and Muslim President, so let me narrow it down and say – Indian American President.

For the grizzled, older President, we have Amitabh Bachchan.

For the brash, reckless President, we have Sanjay Dutt.

And for the woman President, we have Mallika Sherawat – twice voted both India’s hottest actress and India’s funniest actress.

Okay, so I really just wanted an excuse to post a picture of Mallika Sherawat. I almost picked Rakhi Sawant, but at the last minute I realized that would be almost Sarah Palin-esque, and the whole point is suspension of disbelief.

Of course, extremely progressive sci-fi will skip the Indian American and instead turn to the American Indian.

Female President: Storyteller Gayle Ross (whose “Inside the Beaded Beltway” is one of the best non-fiction storytelling shows I’ve ever seen)

Male President: Wes Studi.

And finally, Obama-esque American Indian President, Rudy Youngblood.

I should have words for this.

I guess all I can say is, “Yes, we did—and yes, we can.”

Having discovered a combination political and cute blog, I have now determined that I will do my part to ruin your cuteblogging for the day.

Here, we have a kitteh.

Kitteh will now demonstrate the mindset of the average John McCain voter and the steps they go through.

1. Insert head into box.


2. Struggle to get head out of box.


3. Immediately stuff head back into box.


4. After much struggling, accept assistance in getting your head out of box.


5. Stuff head right back into box.


6. Pretend you didn’t just stuff your head into the box, even though said box is still firmly wedged on your head.

There. Now try looking at your precious kittens without thinking about how they represent segments of the American electorate.