Art Machine
Just another former infatuation junkie

pesky’apostrophe points us to the latest report of Airport Girls Gone Wild!

Lionel Richie’s daughter Nicole had to show her breasts to airport security staff after her nipple ring triggered off metal detectors.

Nicole, who stars with Paris Hilton in US reality TV show The Simple Life, was travelling from Reno, Nevada to New York City.

She says: “I said: ‘I’m pierced,’ and that usually is the end of it. And she said: ‘Well, what are you gonna do about it?’”

...

“So they brought in two female officers and took me not to necessarily the most private place in the airport and made me take off my top. Thank God I’m not a shy person, but what if I was shy?

“You know what, you guys are letting lighters on the plane and stuff like that, but I can’t have a nipple ring? What am I gonna do – poke someone in the eye with it?”

I shudder to consider the plight of the hapless airport security worker. On the one hand, she had probably been told that she had to visually clear any- and everything that set off the metal detectors. After all, the last time I traveled through airport security I was forced to undo my belt so they could clear my midsection and verify that it was the buckle setting off the metal detector and not, say, a hidden belt-bomb.

So here’s an airport security worker who has been told to clear anything that sets off the metal detector. Now, obviously, there are few things that could be hidden by a breast – but can you imagine the fallout the first time an airport security worker fails to check out a “piercing” and discovers that the double-D cup he just let through security was actually hiding a shiv under her mammary? So even though the security worker in this case had no reason to believe that it was anything other than a piercing and no reason to believe that Richie was a terrorist, she was still under orders to check everything that sets off the detector.

I still find it a little bit amazing how hyper folks are getting these days.

Or maybe it’s part of a secret plot. Snoop Dogg is bribing Airport Security Workers to force girls to lift their shirts at checkpoints, and then he sells the security tapes on late-night television as part of his new “Weary Travelers Gone Wild!” series.

They’ve just gotten off of a three-hour plane ride and are in a rush to get to their connecting flight so that they don’t get stranded in Reagan Airport. The plane was out of honey-roasted peanuts and those little bottles of Parrot Bay Rum, their luggage is three stops behind them, and the souvenir statuette they bought for their little nephew is already broken into three pieces. And you won’t believe what these girls will do to get through security! It’s “Weary Travelers Gone Wild!“

This entry was posted on Monday, July 19th, 2004 at 3:57 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.