Follow Rabbit
Walking through the Charlotte airport on my way home, I’m started to realize just how important it was to actually have a watch. I’ve gone for a long time now without wearing a watch of any kind – and since the last show I directed ended, nobody’s really complained about it.
But my problems in Charlotte involved the fact that I had arrived far too early. Earlier that morning, a brusque customer service representative had checked me in at the Washington National Airport and had offered me a seat on an earlier flight than the one on my ticket.
“It’s your choice,” she said, never looking up from her monitor. “You either hang out here for another two hours, or I can get you on a plane in the next ten minutes and you can spend the extra time in Charlotte.”
I’d had enough of the airport now named after the man who screwed America’s air traffic controllers – I opted to spend the time in Charlotte.
I arrived in Charlotte at 9:20, and my next flight wasn’t scheduled until 12:55. Somewhere along the way, I started thinking that a watch would be incredibly convenient to have. So would some money – which was starting to run low. Unfortunately, watches cost money.
I had just about decided to give up on a watch for the rest of the day when I passed by a table covered in cheap ballpoint pens and clipboards.
“Would you like to sign up for a credit card and get a free gift?”
“What are you offering?”
“You can choose to get a Charlotte teddy bear, a U.S. Airways T-shirt, or a digital watch.”
“Sure. Let me have a form.”
Five minutes later…
“Now, can I decline this card if I change my mind by the time it arrives?”
“Well, you don’t actually get the card. This form just lets them see if you qualify for the card. You’ll get more paperwork in the mail if your credit checks out.”
“All right. Here’s the form.”
“What would you like?”
“I’ll take the watch.”
With plenty of time left until my flight, I took a leisurely stroll down to the concourse at which my plane would arrive (a stroll that was – approximately – the same distance as a stroll across New York City, diagonally). I stopped at a video monitor, found my flight, and pulled the watch out of its plastic box to set it.
The first thing I noticed was that it was actually a pretty cool watch.
The second thing I noticed was that the buckle was broken.
So I walked briskly across NYC (diagonally) and back to the table where the salesman was busy chatting up another couple who had come through (probably wanting a Charlotte teddy bear, from the looks of them). I held up the watch, showed him the buckle, and he nodded and handed me a new one, taking the broken one and stashing it behind the table.
The watch was identical to the broken one – except, of course, for the fact that it wasn’t broken. I set it, then checked in for my flight and waited to board.
The watch lasted all through my flight home and out of the airport.
And when I decided to show the watch to my parents, the buckle promptly broke. In exactly the same place the other watch broke.
If the incentives are any indicator of quality, I don’t think I’ll be filling out the rest of the paperwork for the card.