I walk on over with my Salon — What rhymes with Salon?
Browsing through articles over at Slate, I came across wine columnist Mike Steinberg’s analysis of what champagne Jay-Z should drink now that he’s no longer down with Cristal. It’s a funny article that places the boycott in the context in which it has the most significance – the sales of wine. Trend followers may have to fall in line, but the changing of a brand of champagne will mean little to them. It’s the manufacturers who depend on the money they’re making from those followers.
So Steinberg analyzes what this means to other manufacturers in the parket place. With Cristal now unwelcome on the hip-hop stage, other manufacturers have a golden opportunity. Dom Perignon should have people on the phone. So should Krug (who should be taking advantage of thug recognition by noting that Krug was also the name of the sadistic villain in Wes Craven’s Last House on the Left). Steinberg, however, prefers Salon – because it scans the same as Cristal. But it does cause problems when Cristal is used in the rhyme (‘I walk on over with my Cristal, put away your pi-stal’). Even so, I’m sure that rap troubadors will adjust.
The real fun, however, begins in the comments – which seem equally upset with Cristal and the hip hop community. The hip hop community for being largely misogynistic and given to conspicuous consumption, and the manufacturers of Cristal for being too snobby to just be glad they’re making money.
Apparently these elitist clowns don’t want to be associated with nouveau riche hip hop, because they’re “too classy” for them. Lets see here. Their argument is that hip hop bling bling promotes misogyny, criminal behavior, getting high, and tacky materialism. Right. Because who would want to be associated with that when you’re cheating on your trophy wife driving around in your Lexus you paid for with embezzled money getting hammered off of wine. I think I’ve seen Lewis Black making fun of corporate CEOs paying 20 grand for a miniature umbrella. I am so glad you have such moral scruples to pass up millions worth of dollars in revenue for that. Typical old money snobbery. Go figure.
Classic.