One large pie with orc sausage…
I guess it was a few years back that somebody, somewhere, died while playing EverQuest because he played it to the exclusion of everything else in his life – including sleep, food, water, and sunlight, not to mention face-to-face interaction with fellow human beings. Since then, Sony has worked hard to prove that they’re doing something to save their all-important gamers (“Please! Without your continued health, we can’t make money off of monthly fees!”) from doing physical harm to themselves due to their love of the game. This has included such attempts as the widely-mocked screen of legalese at the beginning of each game reminding you to take some time to enjoy the sunshine.
And then there are the more… pro-active ideas.
You’re in luck – pizza is just a few key strokes away! While playing EverQuest II just type /pizza and a web browser will launch the online ordering section of pizzahut.com. Fill in your info and just kick back until fresh pizza is delivered straight to your door.
An amazing concept, to be sure. For those who find leaving the world of fantasy to be more painful than leaving behind their family snapshots as their house burns, Sony now offers a way to obtain greasy, no-effort sustenance without having to quit the game.
I say unto this, Huzzah! Huzzah! without the slightest trace of irony! I think we could use more commands in MMOG’s like this. Just imagine.
/generaltso – Immediately orders General Tso’s Chicken and rice (no MSG, naturally) from the nearest cheap Chinese delivery place.
/blockbuster – Automatically returns your DVD’s to Blockbuster for you. Because while they’ve done away with late fees, getting charged a full replacement price is a pain in the neck.
/sleep – Instantly refreshes the user as if he had just obtained eight solid hours of sleep (NOTE: This claim remains untested by the scientific and medical communities, use at your own discretion and only under a doctor’s supervision. No, really. We can’t make you, but please).
/work – Convinces your boss that you did clock in, that you are at your desk, and on the occasional Natural 20 manages to convince your boss that you deserve a raise and two month’s paid vacation.
/wavehi – Contacts your family and loved ones to let them know that you are alive and well and that you care for them deeply, but if they want to talk to you then they had better damn well buy a copy of the game and get their own monthly subscription.
/snark – Produces sarcasm conveniently and quickly.
February 21st, 2005 at 2:52 pm
I am alive and well and I care for you all deeply, but if you want to talk to us then you had better damn well buy a copy of the game and get your own monthly subscriptions.