We take you now to the Governor’s mansion…
It appears that Gov. Schwarzenegger 1 has decided that the “lot, lot of favors” that he asked for from the Bush administration doesn’t justify turning the California National Guard into Dubya’s personal border force. (link via TalkLeft)
The National Guard Bureau, an arm of the Pentagon, asked for the troops to help with the border-patrol mission in New Mexico and Arizona, but Schwarzenegger said the request would stretch the California Guard too thin in case of an emergency or natural disaster.
Of course, I immediately imagined how this would look in the inevitable big-screen flick based on the life of the man once known as Arnold Strong.
GOVERNOR ARNOLD holds the handset of a red phone. From the other end of the line comes the smug, self-assured voice of PRESIDENT BUSH.
BUSH
They’re really givin’ us a pummelin’ down there, Arnie. I could sure use some help keepin’ them Mexicans from comin’ over here and livin’ off our welfare state. Not to mention the boost it’d give to my approval ratin’s right now.
Arnold hesitates, unsure.
ARNOLD
I don’t know, Mr. President. We’ve got a lot, lot of problems here in California. Not to mention we have major urban areas built right across fault lines. What would happen if a major earthquake hit and all of our national guard were on border patrol?
BUSH
Well, now, don’ worry your pretty li’l head about that. That’s what we’ve got FEMA for, ain’t it?
SLOW PUSH IN on Arnold’s horror-stricken eyes as memories well up within him. Burbling noise resolves. We hear reporters talking about breached levees, the words KATRINA and NEW ORLEANS drift up from the bustle of noise, as well as cries for help. Over it all comes the sound of choppers… My God, the people. All those people…
BUSH
Arnie? Are ya there, Arnie?
I’m one-hundred percent sure that that would win an Oscar for the lucky actor to play Governor Arnold. I await a call from Hollywood. Or the Governor’s mansion.
1 I choke every time I write that combination, but I can remember watching re-runs of “Laugh-In” where people laughed at the phrase “President Reagan.”