What you need to know
I used to keep a bag in the trunk of my car. It was an old, yellow thing – a Kool-Aid incentive from a long time ago (actually, the bag itself tore just recently and I threw it out – no big loss). In the bag was a change of clothes, a toothbrush, a stick of deodorant, and a couple of hotel bottles of shampoo. In a sense, it was a peacetime “Jump Bag.” I wouldn’t expect ordinarily to be forced into extreme conditions, so the bag assumed access to a ready source of food, first aid, running water, etc. It was more of an unexpected-stay-at-a-friend’s bag than a survial kit.
With terrorism apparently trumping all other concerns in America, there’s a vast market now for safety devices. Just witness the Quantum Sleeper – a product that obvious missed its calling as a luxury item for the wealthy vampire set. The concept is basically a luxure panic room built into your bed, so that all you have to do is swing a couple of panels shut and pull a hood down and – presto! – you’ve entombed yourself. Note that this item isn’t actually on the market yet. They’re still looking for startup capital. But the market is flooded with expensive emergency gas masks (that basically look like plastic shopping bags with gauze patches), “skyscraper parachutes,” and the like.
Of course, not to be too snarky about it, a Kerry Presidency would probably have been the best possible protection in a terrorist attack – notice how both areas hit by terrorism on 9/11 went blue? But I digress.
Here’s my thought on the issue. If you’re really that concerned about security, don’t get taken in by suppliers who’ll sell you twenty-five cents worth of plastic for five-hundred bucks and claim that their untested product will save your life (skyscraper parachute, I’m looking in your direction). Instead, keep a “Jump Bag.” This bag of items you’ll need in case of an emergency will help you much more than a Quantum Sleeper if you keep your wits about you. This website will give you a few suggestions for what your jump bag needs – most of which are inexpensive and readily available (link via Making Light). They also offer some pointed advice. Some of which includes…
- There is no perfect kit.
- What you have in your head is the most important survival/first aid equipment of all.
- It’s better to carry general-purpose items than specialized equipment.
- In a survival situation, you live as long as your feet do.
- You can live to be ninety without a Rambo knife, but hypothermia or dehydration will kill you deader’n dirt by this time tomorrow.
- A terrorist attack is just a badly-placarded HAZMAT incident.
- Alcohol and disaster don’t mix.
- Brush your teeth, wear your seatbelt, wash your hands before eating and after using the toilet, and look both ways before crossing the street.
Yes, your mother’s advice will save your life. Even the clean underwear bit – the last thing you need is an infection hitting a [coughcough] sensitive area [cough] in the middle of a survival situation.
Here’s the fact – there’s a lot of panic, and with that panic there’s a lot of exploiteers ready to strike it rich. You can spend all the money in the world. Your Quantum Sleeper won’t help you when a plane flies into your apartment building. Your emergency gas mask won’t help you when a man walks into the lobby with a bomb strapped to his waist. You can’t buy a fix for everything – the best thing you can do is go on with your life, dammit. If something happens, keep your wits about you – but it’s not worth the sweat.
And if you must play Rambo, here’s my final suggestion. Buy the following book. Memorize it. Don’t use it unless you have to.
